Walk with me, through my world.

I have a hard time understanding some things.  

Like how insensitive people can be. And self-centered and uncaring. 

Like drivers who inconsiderately speed around, paying no mind to pedestrians, bicyclists, those pushing babies and young children in strollers, and people in wheelchairs. 

Or, like joggers who won't slow down and use caution while passing me in my wheelchair when we share walking/bike paths. 

Or people who spit on the sidewalk. Who wants to inadvertently walk/roll through that and track it into our homes? 

And then there are those that litter, completely clueless to the bad example they set for the countless children watching their actions.  

Sometimes I feel very annoyed after such people cross my path. 

A woman working at Denny's in my town came to open the door for me (AFTER I beckoned her with the appropriate hand-gesture.)  She opened the door and then stood directly in the path of my wheelchair!  

I politely told her she was standing in my way to get through the doorway, after which she griped sarcastically, "I don't know what to do!" 

And then, there are all those drivers in my town who ignore me in my wheelchair as I attempt to cross streets at crosswalks and at traffic signals. 

They speed on past me, never even slowing down, as if anyone not in a vehicle is invisible to them entirely. 

On another day, I encountered two clueless young women at the local bagel shop who handed me the key to the restroom, after which I followed their instructions to go down a narrow hallway only to discover 3 feet from the restroom door there was a step. 

To make matters worse, the hallway had boxes and supplies stacked along the side, and was too narrow for me to turn my wheelchair around to exit the hallway back the way I'd come. 

I had to back my wheelchair all the way out of the hallway, which was unduly stressful. I was even more upset the workers DIDN'T THINK to realize a wheelchair needs a ramp to traverse a step! 

It has been 23 years since the Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA) was passed to mandate equal access be granted to those who are differently-abled. It is not only cold and calloused, but illegal, for business owners to not, know about and willingly provide, reasonable accommodations so that disabled people can be included. 

We should not even need a law directing folks to be helpful so that those who use wheelchairs, canes, and walkers, as well as, those who walk unaided but with great difficulty, can be included and go places abled-bodied people go. 

Even when folks do not personally have any disabled or elderly and frail people in their lives, it only takes a small amount of imagination to become aware of the obstacles which exist that are barriers to access. 

Long before it became difficult for me to walk, when my children were little, I taught them to be aware of and helpful to those around them who were having difficulty. After all, isn't that the right thing to do?

In my view, a little awareness and empathy can go a long way to helping us all become better citizens.

A Matter of Character

When I opened FaceBook today, the first thing I read was a posting from my 24-year old daughter, which read:

 ME:   They are outlawing homelessness in Tampa by making it illegal to sleep in public.

YOU:  Good!

ME:    Packing my things and leaving.

I’d be packing, too. The post would be funny if the subject matter wasn’t homelessness.   One can find a jerk anytime at the bar on the corner; who in their right mind wants to live with one?

We who are not homeless really do have a moral responsibility to gain understanding about and show compassion for those who are homeless. It is awful that some folks still believe one becomes homeless because of "personal moral failure," as if the scarcity of jobs and affordable housing hardly plays a part. 

Back in the early 90s, there was an average of 900 applicants for each blue-collar job opening, and, precious few affordable housing units were being built then, or have been built in the past 20-plus years. Today, things are much worse, with well over half of our entire population jobless or, living paycheck to paycheck, precariously close to becoming homeless.  The dire situation of homelessness is truly an indictment on our society we are doing nothing to remedy. Heck, just taking away the tax break rich folks get on their vacation homes could fully fund rent subsidies nationwide for low-wage earners in need.

I feel a lot of compassion for homeless people, and find difficulty in judging them for turning to drugs and alcohol to numb their pain.  I think about just how much my mental health would be jeopardized if I had to stand and walk around every waking moment, rarely finding a safe place to sit or lie down, free from being looked down upon (and/or harassed) by passers-by and law enforcement.  How does that Christian saying go, “There, but for the grace of God, go I?”

A friend recently shared a story with me about her attending a public meeting where homelessness was the topic of discussion. When a homeless man went to the podium to speak he asked the audience to please stand, which they did. Then, he gave his talk and then just turned and went back to his seat in the audience and everyone sat down. He never explained his request for folks to stand while he talked, and hopefully, those in the audience got it. The exercise offered a tiny glimpse into what it must be like to struggle to find a safe place to sit, much less lie down and sleep, in the community.

This daughter of mine has always been a great person.  While a teenager in high school, she did an amazing thing that showed the content of her character. Just having picked up some tacos for dinner, we were stopped at a traffic signal when my daughter asked, “Mom, will you share half your food with me?” I laughed at her while saying, “Yes, of course!” thinking she was making some kind of joke.  In the blink of an eye my daughter let down the car window and handed over her food and drink to a middle-aged homeless woman standing on the curb with a sign begging for food. The woman was so hungry she immediately began unwrapping the food with shaky hands and eating, not able to wait the little bit of time it would take to walk away from the street and find a place to sit. The traffic signal turned green for us to go a few seconds later. As I drove off, the homeless woman, through tears of gratitude, shouted to my daughter over the noise of the traffic, “Thank you!”  I reached over and handed one of my two tacos to my daughter, as tears began to well up in my own eyes at her spontaneous act of kindness. We ate in silence and later agreed: those were the best tacos we had ever eaten.

Yes, I’d say she would be packing . . . if the scenario in her FaceBook post were about her.